Theme Change

Posted by Sherry , Tuesday, July 20, 2010 Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I was an English major in college. No, not the useful, lucrative side of the major such as journalism. And no, not the ambitious, self-loathing-alcoholism-inducing-but-likely-to-make-you-a-revered-genius-after-you-die side of English like creative writing. I was a LITERATURE major.

So basically I spent my college years TALKING about books and getting graded on my THOUGHTS. And if you've ever met an English professor, you know that the weirder the observation, the more genius they think you are. I spent most of my college education talking and writing papers about “the Other”. If you don't know what I mean by “the Other” – well, its probably because you had IMPORTANT things to think and write about in your college papers.

If you were in the Engineering school or a botany major or something else that actually required hard work, precise answers and coming to class prepared, I know what you're thinking: “Why wasn't I an English major?” You're also thinking “How the hell did she ever get a JOB?” And the reason I know what you are thinking regarding my college major is because my husband – an engineer himself – wonders this aloud regularly.

In any case, this is a long-winded way of me explaining that there is a reason why, when I have ten minutes to myself to evaluate my life, I try to find “themes”. I also try to find accompanying music to the events in my life in case they should be turned into a blockbuster summer movie. “Get Ur Freak On” would probably play along with the opening credits. Oh, and I would be played by Reese Witherspoon. But I digress.

I'd like to say the theme is “hard work” or “changes” or even “comic relief” but unfortunately what I keep coming back to is “apathy”. Yes, apathy. My very least favorite emotion/way of existing in the entire world. The characteristic that I loathe more than just about anything.

I'll take arrogance, negativity, jealousy and severe tourette's syndrome over apathy any day. In my opinion, there is little worse than simply 'not caring.' I like passion! I envy action! I even appreciate mania and 'Debbie Downerism'!

So apathy is a reigning theme right now. Apathy about eating. Apathy about weight loss. Apathy about my work outs. Apathy about blogging. I am still eating decently and losing well (over two pounds last week!) and going to my work outs and bitching to all my wonderful readers (aren't you lucky!), but I'm not all that excited, inspired or empowered by any of it.

I'm blaming the heat. And G.W. Bush.

The good news is that I have a fill scheduled for Friday. I'm hoping this will be just the kick in the pants I need. Because unlike many of the bandster bloggers I follow, my band is not playing a large role in my life right now and I WANT it to. I want to finally write that post about how much “I love my band!”

Right now I'm kind of like “Eh, I have a Lap Band. So what?” I want to be more like “Woo hoo! This Lap Band was the best thing I ever did! I'm going to Disney World!”

I want my theme to become “proactivity” (not a real word but using it will get you an 'A' on a Feminist Literary Theory paper!).

In the meantime I'll keep chugging along. Eating my protein first, drinking my water, changing diapers, dreaming of George Clooney. But none of it will be done with the gusto those actions deserve. Especially the dreaming of George Clooney bit. And that is just SAD.

p.s. I graduated from college cum laude. And yes, I hear you snickering.

15 Response to "Theme Change"

Amy Says:

GW Bush probably is to blame.

You seriously crack me up. I was a Women's Studies major. Oh, and German. Are you wondering now how *I* got a job? Yeah, me, too. :)

Hang in there - it WILL happen. I totally promise. Otherwise, you have my permission to beat up Georgie for it being all his fault.

Alexis Says:

Haha! I don't know why this post cracked me up. Maybe because I majored in Apparel, Merchandising and Business and graduated cum laude too, but my husband says that he too could have graduated cum laude as well if he had majored in "coloring and playing with clothes all day". Ha! Such love.

Anyways....This was an awesome post. I too think of songs that would fit in my life at any given time :)

It just sounds like you are in a little bit of a funk. I get in one like every 2 months and then snap out of it. I hear you about not being so excited about that band and just kind of like "eh, whatever. I have it and it works". Maybe we need something really pivotal to happen to get us there. Who knows?

Can't wait until Chicago! You freaking crack me up and I'm sure between you and Amy, I will burn about 20,000 calories just from laughing!

Gilly Says:

You never disappoint me :) And I always laugh at the word "cum"...doesn't everyone? I'm soooo juvenile!

Theresa Says:

I was a Theatre Major, I spent my college years pretending....I'm just saying.

Linda Says:
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda Says:

If you are not giving your George Clooney fantasies the gusto they truly deserve, I'm worried...
I really hope that your fill Friday helps. I want you to do a "I love my band" post too.
I blame W for everything...

DB Says:

You are too much - lol!!!! I know your passion will be back very soon :)

Marie Says:

From one fellow English major to another - Bravo!

What was the strangest literature class you took? I was in a class all about John Updike. LOL. At least it wasn't dissecting Elton John lyrics! Loved it though!
I did minor in Media/Communications. Has nothing to do with what I do now - of course!

Kristin Says:

You almost had me at apathy, but I'm too distracted by the mention of "lucrative journalism." HAHAHAHAHA.

I minored in psychology. That was the "intellectual" part of my education. The rest was just learning how to write a string of declarative sentences.

Bonnie Says:

I can so see Reese Witherspoon playing you. Notice how I commented on the most important part of your post? I think because after I read who would play you I wasn't really paying attention because I was drifting off thinking about who would play me in MY life story. Just kidding - I read it all, smiling the whole time.

Sherry Says:

@Amy -- OMG girl. You totally 'get' it. Women's Studies minor over here. It is surprising I was able to be allowed to work in waitressing with that background.

@Marie -- I took a class devoted entirely to French Feminist Theorists. Um, yea.

Steph Says:

I my goodness, I adore you. Comments about George, blaming George Bush and that you were an English major just make me think you are my long lost sister! I was an engilsh major in college for a long while, but switched to history my final year when I transferred schools.

The apathy needs to vamoose! You can't have a proper dream about George without giving it your 100%!

Gen Says:

Love it!

English major, magna cum laude...and pretty much feminist everything because I went to a Seven Sisters college!!!!

So I am a total theme-finder like you! And right now "apathy" is a pretty good theme for me too!

BTW the smartest thing I ever did was figure out I could get paid to write as long as I went to law school. Well, smart or dumb, because I've been stuck writing legal briefs for nearly 20 years!!!!

Band-Babe Says:

Hey, good luck at your doctor's appt today and with the fill. Remind me... have they aspirated your level to check it? What does your dr think about your restriction? Apathy is also my least favorite emotion, and I do believe that when you're at your sweet spot, you'll "LOVEYOURBAND AND DISNEYLAND!".

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