Posted by Sherry , Saturday, May 22, 2010 Saturday, May 22, 2010
Being a mommy hurts sometimes. Yesterday was one of those 'painful mommy' days for me. Unfortunately, I was fresh out of vodka so had to deal directly with the pain instead of numbing it the way God intended.
There was some crying and A LOT of whining and even a full on 'time out.'
So while I was sitting there, facing the corner until I could learn to behave, I tried to use the time productively and find some blogging inspiration.
But honestly? I'm just not feeling all that inspired lately.
As you will note from my previous post, I am feeling no restriction. And chances are you've heard me screaming at the top of my lungs that my willpower is on its last leg. So when my darling, no-napping daughter began her umpteenth tantrum of the day I found myself wanting to dull the ache in my head with food. Do they make birthday cake flavored Excedrin?
Anyway, I started thinking about Greek food. Steak kabobs with cucumber sauce. Feta cheese. Paprika sprinkled hummus drizzled with olive oil. I can honestly say that one of the things that kept me from going through the roof yesterday was that tzatziki dipped carrot dangling at the end of my rope.
So I did it. I had the Greek food. A lot of it. I was so full and bloated with sodium my ring finger looked like a platinum banded sausage. And, well, It.Felt.Good. SO GOOD.
To be perfectly honest, until I really started thinking about it an hour or two ago, I didn't feel anything but pure happiness about my Greek food-filled evening.
Of course now, when I'm sensing that the 2 pound loss I had for the week (yeah! Two whole pounds!) was probably sabotaged, I'm feeling a little guilty. And depressed. And annoyed.
But honestly, I just don't have it in me this weekend to sit back an analyze my Friday actions. I just don't want to. Is that so bad? I don't WANT to examine it. I don't WANT to work at resisting temptation. I don't WANT to examine my relationship with food this week. I don't WANT to change my comfort mechanism.
I guess I'm just channeling my inner petulant toddler.