Two Sticks or a Lighter
When you brought up the issue of eating disorders, you totally hit it on the head. Those with eating disorders feel that it is the only way they can control the chaos in their lifes. It's great that you enjoy the power exchange that you find in going to the gym. It is a classic behavior for people who lead a very active life where they take responsibility for everything in their lives, be it being supermom, a wife, in charge of a houshold, etc. (and yes, commonly control freaks do tend to take a submissive role in the bedroom in another form of power exchange as it is a release for them). You bring up so many good points and I have to admit that I am not at that point where food doesn't "control" me. I don't obesess about it, but since I am so new to the band, that I am trying so hard to be good.
Twilight drives me crazy...it is about an obsessive relationship and is SO totally an unhealthy example that is being set for pre-teen girls when it somes to self worth in a relationship...
You are awesome! Thanks for the great vblog!
There is this great scene in What's Eating Gilbert Grape where his mom, who is horribly obese, meets his girlfriend, who is clearly anorexic. The mom tells the girlfriend kind of apologetically, "I have a problem with food." and the girlfriend replies "Me too."
I so agree with you. I want to get to a place where my daily intake just doesn't matter. There is no bad or good. It's just a freakin doughnut.
Great vlog...I only counted 2 hair flips...quite impressive.
I, like you am still very early in my journey and must answer that no, I am not "there" yet with food. But strangely, I feel I am on my way to being closer than I have ever been and it's happened in the few weeks since my surgery. I haven't had a fill so the little bit of restriction I have left from swelling or healing, etc. is almost non-existant. But in the week since I've been on mushies (pretty much eating anything at this point), I've been pleasantly surprised by how satisfied I feel even with the small amounts of food. Part of that comes from sheer gratitude after almost 4 weeks of nothing but shakes or liquids but I believe the majority of that satisfied feeling comes from my realization that never again will I deny myself an entire category of food (besides bread or pasta) and that I can chose whatever I want to eat because it's Horton, my band who will take care of how much of it that I can comfortably eat. I know I'm probably over simplifying this, however, from reading everyone's blogs, there seems to be two approaches...the diet approach and the non-diet approach. The diet approach is where you log every single thing that you put in your pie hole in the course of the day and tally everything up at the end. Don't get me wrong...if that's what works for you, God bless you. The non-diet approach is where you have some semblance of a plan so that you have reasonable choices available to you for each meal (so that you're not scrambling for fast-food every day at lunch). Choices that make you look forward to the meal...not dreading it. For me that might not be a yogurt, but rather a small portion of homemade chicken salad. The chicken salad I'd look forward too...the yogurt, not so much. And my non-diet logic now is...if all the chicken salad I can/will eat is around 1/2 cup, how is that going to do any more damage than a cup of yogurt. This is how I've been eating for the past week or so and I've been consistently losing...not setting any speed records, but this is for the rest of my life so what's the damn hurry.
Anyway...those are my thoughts.
Great post and lots to think about. I so want to just forget about food. To just eat when I have to. When you mentioned the friend who you think has an eating disorder, you are probably right. Most of my friends as super thin and to them food is just that-food to keep them alive. Some exercise to the extreme to keep thin. In the 90's when I was on the Phen-Fen drug, I forgot about eating. I ate because I started to feel hungry, but most times I didn't think about what I would have next. It wasn't controlling me. I am at the point now where I have to plan my meals for the day and hate it. But if I don't I eat crap. I like a comment on the SOB blog where she always makes up batches of soup and has that every day. She just reaches into the freezer for her lunch. Doesn't have to think every night or morning. I'm going to try that because I want to wipe my mind free of having to think about food so much. I hope this made some sense.
hmmm...well three things
#1 the blonde hair shocked me! your main pic you are a brunette :-) but you are beautiful either way!
#2 robert pattison? really? i just don't get it! i don't think there is anything attractive about him!
#3 WOW....very insightful thoughts an views. the whole control thing really got me, there is so little that we can actually control, food is almost the easy choice. i never realized i had an addiction, now i do, and am struggling with it day by day. like someone said, it is hard to be addicted to something that you actually need to survive! moderation is my new word, learned it and am now trying to live it :-)
Great vlog...you are gorgeous and so insightfu;l and not a crazy mum I am sure. I loved the Twilight books but as the movies get more and more publicity I lose interest. Control...hmmm so true. I alsways class my periods of gaining weight as out of control. I used to beat myself up about not being able to restrain how much and what I ate. I love the band now because I don't feel out of control anymore. I feel happy to be able to eat what I want and not feel guilty about it. It is such a freedom to me. Keep vlogging ...I loved it. Hope your friend is ok. I think one of my friends thinks I have an eating disorder so at least she cares....I don't of course,
Ok first off YAY 11 minutes of Sherry time. My thoughts as we go...
You're blonde!
Your house is prettty!
Your hair is REALLY PRETTY.
I'm glad you love training too!
Great insights about control... It makes a lot of sense! I totally get what you're saying about control - I think that we as people who overate have so much in common with the common 'eating disorders' - they're both about finding control in our chaotic lives.
YOU'RE SO CUTE WITH NOTES.
Ok further thought... I think I always used food as a control thing. I overate. Now I have to be very careful to not think of food as something to control, not to restrict too much, not to feel guilty about eating... etc. Shit I need to blog about this myself eh?
Marathon comment... You must be bored of me by now. I find I am slowwwwly getting over food. SOME DAYS. Some days I eat whatever I eat, but it's not WHO I AM. IT DOESN'T DEFINE ME. xox.
oh and finally - YOUR BLOG GOT SO PRETTY! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!? MATCHES YOUR PRETTY FACE.
Oh and love twilight too!
Great vlog. Very insightful and I didn't get bored at all. :-) What hit me most is what you said about "good" and "bad" food. I am also hoping that after I get banded and have time to adjust I'll be able to eat what I want, but in small portions so it's okay. I'm tired of my moods being effected by what I do or don't eat. I prefer older men so the Twilight duo don't do anything for me, but my girls love them. The thing that I do like is that my older daughter was not a big reader at all, which broke my heart because I always loved to read when I was a kid. Well, she started reading the Twilight book, loved it and read all the others. That was a gateway series and now reads a lot more than she ever used to. She also likes the books better than the movies, which I'm also happy about. I guess there could be some women who have deeper issues for liking the Twilight series, but I can see how it can tap into the those younger feelings when you could just totally react on emotion alone and ignore the reality (ie he's a vampire, you're not).
Hi love of my life. Do you want to come over so we can practice brushing each others hair?
You know, now that you mentioned it, I feel like with all the stuff going on in my life right now I havent felt the need to post about my weight or what I am eating but damn it...I still think about it! But do you know what? I have forgotten to weigh myself several times this week.
Um...TWILIGHT? STop it right now! I am more of a trueblood fan meself...hotties! Do you watch TrueBlood?
You are beautiful and I cant wait for our chicago time!
You're adorable and I can't wait to read about your Twilight opinion.
I LOVE the books and like the movies. I LOVE Edward in the book, but am annoyed by his pathetic neediness in the movie. He's too complex to convey in a movie so I don't fault Rob. It is what it is.
I started to reply to your deeper questions but got carried away and was taking me too long to make my point. Dang it.
Totally getting caught up on everyone's blogs. I've been reading for over 3 hours, but seriously...this one perked me right up. What a freaking great vlog (side note: I still have yet to do a vlog and it's been over a year!).
I'm such a control freak and I agree too that this really made me think if my eating was a way of having control of something in my life or if my eating was out of control and I didn't know what to do about it. I don't know if I will ever have the answer.
I've finally gotten to the point where I don't really cringe when I eat something I "shouldn't". I enjoy GOOD food. Always have and most likely always will. I got that band simply as a tool to help monitor portions. I love that I still can enjoy some things that I used to in moderation. In a way, it actually makes me feel more in control of the food choices I do make (hmmmmm).
Oh! I love Twilight! We'll bug the hell out of Amy with the Twilight talk in Chicago! Ha! I'm a huge TrueBlood fan though too...more adult = more steamy scenes :)
You are super beautiful and I can't wait to meet you in Chicago!
Oh I have soooo much to say about this, but the Ambien is kicking in and I am so sleeeeeepy. But I am right there with you, my dear. I understand. And when I get around to posting my BYOC tomorrow, this is TOTALLY my blog post of the week and I will write more on the subject.
Has anyone ever told you that you remind them of Arden Myrin from Chelsea Lately? Absolutely adorable and a HUGE compliment as she is one of my favorites and just too cute and funny.
omg! I totally get why Gilly sent me your way! Thank you so much for that vlog. You just expressed everything that I have been trying to express in my own head recently.
Control. Yes! That is it!
Looking forward to getting to know you :)
I only got to watch a couple seconds of this (at work.. will watch more later!)
You remind me of Reese Witherspoon. it's the way you talk and the way you're blonde.. I think. I love Reese. :D You're beautiful!
HOLY INSIGHTFUL, BATMAN!!!!! That vlog just hit me like a shovel in the FACE!!! YES!!! CONTROL!!!! Wow!!!
You're adorable and junk too, but holy CRAP, you just had me totally rivited with that observation! Soooo many thoughts! Wow!! GREAT post!!!
(PS: Twilight is lame for so many reasons...get ahold of yourself, woman!! lol!!)