Puttin' a little wiggle in it
Posted by Sherry , Saturday, March 27, 2010 Saturday, March 27, 2010
Down 8.5 pounds and doing the happy dance, my friends!
I'm 8 days post-op and feeling pretty darn good. In fact, I feel pretty much exactly as I always have – albeit hungrier. Its a little strange to imagine that there are these foreign objects taking residence in my body. I keep expecting to feel 'different' in some way, but I just plain don't. When does your port jump out of your belly button and do a dance on your stomach? Or is that just in SpaceBalls?
We took little D to her first Easter Egg “hunt” today. I put “hunt” in quotation marks because it was actually just a giant field covered in pastel plastic bits that you would step on if you weren't careful. The eggs were mostly filled with sweettarts and jelly beans and other sugary junk that in the past I probably would have just stuffed in my giant maw without even giving it a second thought.
But today, I knew I couldn't be so careless and more importantly, just had no interest. I proudly carried a bucketful of candy-coated diet crashing missles at my side without even a twinge of temptation. I was feeling light on my feet and had a bounce in my step. I was Fred Astaire in Singing in the Rain. I was Neil Armstrong doing the chicken dance on the moon ---- and then I realized all that airlessness was the cause of the gravitational pull effect from the delicious, smoky, oniony goodness that is a Polish sausage and kielbasa cart.
Dammit! Foiled again!
I mean, seriously – WHY does there need to be a hot-dog cart at a Easter Egg Hunt? Don't these people know I was just BANDED for goodness sake!?
After H tackled me to the ground and some other friends put me in a Full Nelson I composed myself like the lady I am, and slowly STEPPED AWAY FROM THE WIENERS.
It was hard, friends. I mean, it took some serious willpower to say 'no, I'm not interested in your mouth-watering, fennel spiced, hoagie roll wrapped piece of meat! Instead, I shall enjoy my whey protein-laden, grape-frost flavored sport drink! SO THERE! Pfpht! I spit on your wieners!”
But let's get real here. I've gotta do this puree/liquid business for another week kids. And I just don't know if I can! I AM HUNGRY. And I'm sick of yogurt! I'm tired of Carnation Instant Breakfast! Campbell's Creamy Chicken can bite me! And don't even get me started the Jello. YOU PUT A LITTLE WIGGLE IN IT you gelatin bastards!
Anyway – off to eat my Cream of Wheat with cinnamon. I'm really a whole lotta bark and not a lot of bite.
p.s. Has anyone else noticed that their breath isn't quite as minty fresh as it used to be? I'm wondering if its the Isopure because it seems to flare up after drinking it. Or is it just me? The last thing this fat girl needs is a case of halitosis.
I'm 8 days post-op and feeling pretty darn good. In fact, I feel pretty much exactly as I always have – albeit hungrier. Its a little strange to imagine that there are these foreign objects taking residence in my body. I keep expecting to feel 'different' in some way, but I just plain don't. When does your port jump out of your belly button and do a dance on your stomach? Or is that just in SpaceBalls?
We took little D to her first Easter Egg “hunt” today. I put “hunt” in quotation marks because it was actually just a giant field covered in pastel plastic bits that you would step on if you weren't careful. The eggs were mostly filled with sweettarts and jelly beans and other sugary junk that in the past I probably would have just stuffed in my giant maw without even giving it a second thought.
But today, I knew I couldn't be so careless and more importantly, just had no interest. I proudly carried a bucketful of candy-coated diet crashing missles at my side without even a twinge of temptation. I was feeling light on my feet and had a bounce in my step. I was Fred Astaire in Singing in the Rain. I was Neil Armstrong doing the chicken dance on the moon ---- and then I realized all that airlessness was the cause of the gravitational pull effect from the delicious, smoky, oniony goodness that is a Polish sausage and kielbasa cart.
Dammit! Foiled again!
I mean, seriously – WHY does there need to be a hot-dog cart at a Easter Egg Hunt? Don't these people know I was just BANDED for goodness sake!?
After H tackled me to the ground and some other friends put me in a Full Nelson I composed myself like the lady I am, and slowly STEPPED AWAY FROM THE WIENERS.
It was hard, friends. I mean, it took some serious willpower to say 'no, I'm not interested in your mouth-watering, fennel spiced, hoagie roll wrapped piece of meat! Instead, I shall enjoy my whey protein-laden, grape-frost flavored sport drink! SO THERE! Pfpht! I spit on your wieners!”
But let's get real here. I've gotta do this puree/liquid business for another week kids. And I just don't know if I can! I AM HUNGRY. And I'm sick of yogurt! I'm tired of Carnation Instant Breakfast! Campbell's Creamy Chicken can bite me! And don't even get me started the Jello. YOU PUT A LITTLE WIGGLE IN IT you gelatin bastards!
Anyway – off to eat my Cream of Wheat with cinnamon. I'm really a whole lotta bark and not a lot of bite.
p.s. Has anyone else noticed that their breath isn't quite as minty fresh as it used to be? I'm wondering if its the Isopure because it seems to flare up after drinking it. Or is it just me? The last thing this fat girl needs is a case of halitosis.
Oh so feeling your pain and I just moved on to delicious protein shakes and jell-o. Yeah cream of chicken soup blows after one go round. Hang in there because some pureed goodness is coming your way next!