Sherry's Band Has A Name

Posted by Sherry , Friday, April 23, 2010 Friday, April 23, 2010


The scale and I have called a truce and we are now BFFs again. We plan on a Friday night pillow fight and she's going to braid my hair! I deserve it. After all, I've lost 2.5 pounds this week. WOO HOO!!!

For those of you not glued to the earth-shattering excitement that is my weight loss ticker – that is 14 pounds total in less than 5 weeks. NOT TOO SHABBY.

I've come to the conclusion that my band is NOT in fact putting a steady drip line of bacon grease into my stomach but that she just needed some time to figure herself out.

She was feeling a little lost and confused. She had just finished college and moved back in with the rents'. And with a degree in English, well the jobs don't just fall right into her lap now, do they? If only mom would GET off her back about sending out resumes! Urgh! Oh wait, that was ME in 1999.

I digress.

Notice my band is now a 'she' and not an 'it'. That is because SHE has been finally christened. Although Band and I have been attached at the gut for the last 4 weeks or so, I didn't really feel like I KNEW her until recently. So how could I give her a name?

Of course, we're still kind of in the 'newlywed' stage of our relationship and she NEVER puts her dirty towels in the hamper. But here is what I have learned:

She pretty much just hangs out all day long and only rears her head when food is involved – kinda like my husband. I mean, my DOG! Some days she's feeling loose and easy – like a college freshman at Mardi Gras. Some days she's feeling tense and cranky – like me before the in-laws visit.

I understand both sentiments. We all have good and bad days. But I am choosing to see Band for who she CAN be. I want to see her for her entire potential. I want to see her WORK FOR HER MONEY.

Thus, I would like to introduce you to my band, Leona Helmsley.

Much like her predecessor, I can only hope that my Leona Helmsley will be a demanding queen, insisting on subordinance.

I can only hope she will have a flamboyant personality, stringent with her likes and dislikes, whipping me into shape.

I also hope she says 'fuck' a lot and is a dog lover.

All in all, I know deep down that my Band will do what's best for me. After all, as Leona Helmsley's namesake, she's bound to be a tight, white, bitch.

22 Response to "Sherry's Band Has A Name"

Drazil Says:

HA - love it! Awesome on the loss - that is so so great!

Susan Says:

I'm really enjoying reading your blog - and love the name! I hope to be banded in late May/early June.

Susan

Gilly Says:

Have I ever told you how much I FREAKING LOVE reading your blog??? You are brilliant!!!

Joey Says:

HAHAHA! Leona is a bad ass. The "queen of mean". Watch out if you have the urge not to pay taxes.
Way to go with the 14 pounds Tiger!!

Kristen Says:

Sherry-
I'm so glad I found your blog!! And love your band's name: Leona! :0) Going back to read more..

tessierose Says:

You kill me! Congrats on the loss, I knew it would move!

Band Groupie Says:

ROTFLMAO! You're a nut Leona!...and you'll always be Sherry Cary to me (hey, that's what your name plate says!).

Amy W. Says:

hahahahah! That was worth digging out my dads laptop to see the name of your band! You know what I love? That she is smiling in her mug shot. If I was ever arrested, I wouldsmile too and pose! haha!

May you and Leona live happily ever after!

Alexis Says:

Ha! I love this! Congrats on the loss! So exciting!

Southern Belle Says:

I am so jealous I didn't think of this first!! Tight white bitch...love it!

Jennifer Says:

You and Leona ROCK! Love this post!

-Grace- Says:

This is FANTASTIC! Love it :)

Ashli Says:

I just found your blog yesterday and wanted to drop in and say hi! I was banded just 4 days before you :)

Cindylew Says:

Great post...great name. I left it up to DH to name mine because I wanted him to be involved in some way where he couldn't do any harm.
My surgery is Monday and he's still ruminating.

Jacquie Says:

LOL Sherry! I love the name! Great loss. We'll get there my band sista!

THE DASH! Says:

lol Great name!! Bloody great loss this week too. GO YOU!

Camille Says:

I just love her mugshot. Like she is pleased she has finally been recognized by the world for her true nastiness! Great name. That is phenomenal weight loss. You are almost a quarter of the way there!

Heather Says:

That is great! Such an original name!

Kristin Says:

Hysterical. Leona is the perfect name for your band!

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