Two Sticks or a Lighter

The Woman Who Cannot Change

Posted by Sherry , Monday, April 5, 2010 Monday, April 05, 2010

I'm unhappy. My brain keeps going over all the comments you guys have left me and what the P.A. told me at my last appointment but sad, paranoid Sherry keeps reappearing.

See my evil scale hasn't budged since Thursday. Not an ounce. Not an iota. It flashes the same stupid number over and over again, reminding me that there is nothing I can do to get thinner. I even went out and bought ANOTHER scale – a good one – to ensure my scale was not broken. Nope. Same number.

I have been tracking every calorie and all my protein and have yet to have a day where I've eaten over 1000 calories. I'm getting a minimum of 60 grams of protein per day. I've not eaten this little since my starvation diet the 4 months before my wedding when I was surviving every day on one English muffin, a cup of grapes, some steamed broccoli and visions of being a fat bride.

I'm walking most days about 1.5 miles and chasing a VERY active toddler. Shouldn't the weight be FLYING off? Shouldn't I be getting on the scale every day saying “Adios SUCKA! Another pound down!”

Irrational, crazy-spiral Sherry has officially taken over my body and mind. I am feeling certain that I have gone through surgery and paid thousands of dollars to discover that I am the one person on the planet for whom the magical band does not work.

I am 100% sure that I have some rare metabolic disease that after 25 years of dieting has finally said “enough is enough” and decided to leave me to wallow in my fatness forever.

I spend hours – seriously, hours -- thinking that I must have been tricked into being in some placebo study and have no band inside but instead just a port that squirts out milkshake-like calories into my gut every 15 minutes, causing me to not lose weight. Next week it will likely start squirting nacho cheese and I will begin gaining back the measly 7 pounds I lost.

Thursday will be 3 weeks post-surgery and I am scared. I am scared that I will still be the same weight I am today. I am scared I will have gained.

And know what the worst part is? I am NOT EVEN HUNGRY. People keep telling me to wait until I have restriction. Well, what is the point? I am not eating much now. Its not like I'm stuffing my face with cheez-its and burgers! I'm eating turkey meatballs! Scrambled eggs! Avocado! Isopure sports drinks!

Woe is me. Woe is me. Thank you for coming to my pity party.

16 Response to "The Woman Who Cannot Change"

Joey Says:

Don't get down buttercup. When I was 5 weeks out I was only down 6 pounds. WTF? I thought I did better pre-banded when I was dieting on my own. Then I lost 9 pounds in 10 days. It was like my body finally adjusted to this new calorie intake. It's good that you're moving that helps you from going into ketosis while eating low calories.

There are peaks and valleys. Just ride this wave to a peak. You are doing great!!

April 5, 2010 at 12:22 PM

Sandy Says:

I feel your pain. But I get to be the one person on the planet for whom the magical band does not work. Because after 45 years I FEEL EXACTLY LIKE YOU DO at this exact moment. I am sure there is no band and I will be at this weight forever. I spent all this money and have only lost 20 pounds.

Maybe we can start this club of Non-losers. NOOOOOO! Never!!!! We will start losing. I've been told to eat a few high calorie days to push my body to lose again. Been doing that for a few days now so will see if it works :-)

Cheer up. It will work. Do you think we can get our money back or resell our band on e-Bay?

April 5, 2010 at 12:28 PM

Sandy Says:

And I forgot to add that I lost 15 pounds pre-op, 3 pounds the week after surgery. Then spent the next 3 weeks at the exact same weight. I did lose 3 pounds since my first fill on March 9th, but that's it.

April 5, 2010 at 12:32 PM

Theresa Says:

Every one is different, don't get discouraged.
7 pounds is 28 sticks of butter! That's alot, don't discredit your progress. Just step away from the scale, seriously, step away and don't go back for a while. Hang in there.

April 5, 2010 at 12:33 PM

Nicole Says:

Patience, It will work! You need to give it time, it's a journey. Not always a fun one but it's so worth it

April 5, 2010 at 12:50 PM

Jen Says:

Exactly waht tessierose said - everyone is different. somedays, I'm like WTF, where is my band? And others, I'm like "Oh yeah, crap, there it is, wish I could eat more"... it will happen and you'll look back on today and laugh that you were so worried. I must have said a million times that I didn't think I had a band and it was all a cruel, cruel joke.. I finally had my doctor give me an xray so she could prove it to me.. and it's there!!

April 5, 2010 at 1:03 PM

Angie Cummings Says:

hugs... it will happen eventually!

I was thinking how they could do studies on the band, I guess fake ports would be the way to go!

April 5, 2010 at 1:48 PM

Jen Says:

I know how you feel. Not that it helps, but I do. Honestly though, it will work. It's frustrating I know, but being 3 weeks out from surgery, you are still healing. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself or your band. It takes time. You will get there...I promise. I'll be the first to say "I told you so!" lol :)

April 5, 2010 at 1:56 PM

Anonymous Says:

Ok, you cracked me up with the port that squirts milk shake like calories phrase! Girl you will get there, let your body heal so that your band/tool will be able to work for you. Just give it some time, this is going to work.

April 5, 2010 at 3:37 PM

Bandster Says:

Hugs, you are going thru a tough time.

We've all(or at least I have)been there

You are in this for the long term - try not to get toooo hung up on the scales. Restriction does vary between people; but when well restricted I'd struggle to eat the foods you mention.

Yes, it is a bit of a shock to the system, after yrs of eating whatever and whenever I wanted

But it is worth it.

Hang in there, get your restriction adjusted,keep a good support network and you will do well.

Rooting for you
Hx

April 5, 2010 at 7:03 PM

Kristin Says:

I was where you are very recently, Sherry. It's maddening. The entire month of February I lost nothing, nada, zip. I was convinced, like you are, that I spent all this money and time and effort and it wasn't going to work. Everyone here reassured me that it would work and to be patient. Now, finally, it's starting to work. So hang in there. Be patient. It will work.

April 5, 2010 at 7:09 PM

Catherine55 Says:

Hang in there! What you are going through is not unusual at all, and 7 pounds is actually really good loss! Don't stress. Seriously, once you get to restriction, this phase will be just a short little blip that you barely remember.

April 5, 2010 at 7:58 PM

RedHead Says:

OMG Sherry -- you seriously cracked me up with the comments about the lapband that squirts milkshakes and nacho cheese. And trust me, I think there have been days (or weeks, or months) when we all felt that way. Even now, I'll lose a chunk of pounds all at once for seeminly no reason, and then I stay at the same weight for weeks and weeks. But eventually the scale starts moving again -- and that will happen for you too. I know it is incredibly frustrating right now, but hang in there!! This is SO worth it, and you CAN do it!

April 5, 2010 at 8:25 PM

THE DASH! Says:

Hon,
All I can say is keep going. Do NOT give up, Sherry. As disheartening as it is, your body WILL adjust and it will start to lose weight. The laws of logic says this has to happen.

You sound like you're doing everything right and I truly believe if you keep doing what you're doing, it might take a week or even two weeks, but you are GOING to head south again. I seem to bounce around a certain weight ALL week, then suddenly bang, on the last day of the week I suddenly lose. And it's not much. Just a pound or so. BUT the difference is, that loss has been consistent and over 10 months its all added up to a huge weight loss. This will happen to you too darl. It will!!

April 5, 2010 at 8:54 PM

Roo Says:

What you are going through post surgery is normal for most people...I didn't lose very much in the 3 weeks following surgery and was getting disheartened...perhaps you should up the calories to 1200 for a couple of days and see if that helps get things moving...sometimes the body goes into shock and under 1000 could be slowing the metabolism....stick with it, it will start to move when you least it expect it...you are already doing great...

April 5, 2010 at 10:02 PM

Marie Says:

HI Sherry...cracking up because I feel the same way since we were banded at the same time. I lost it all up front and nothing since the first week. Oh well. I figure it wasn't easy for me to lose weight before. If it was I wouldn't need the damned band! The one thing about the band is we can't give up. It is always there! I love that about it. I can only eat so much and then I just can't eat anymore. That has never happened before, so something has gotta happen from this!!! Hang in there!

April 5, 2010 at 10:20 PM