Two Sticks or a Lighter

I Am Evolving

Posted by Sherry , Wednesday, May 5, 2010 Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Is it the magical powers of the Banded Blogging sisterhood? Or is it just the magical power of me getting my panties in a bunch and making waves with my doctor's office?

After reading through responses to Monday's post, Leona and I got more and more agitated. I pulled out my Ouiga Board and channeled that old, baggy bitch and I sent an email to appropriate persons in my doctor's office. And although my email was very professional (I kept the 'fucks' to a minimum), I was also crystal clear regarding my desire to be treated like a patient, not a bother.

And lo and behold, the 'Bariatric Coordinator' at my doctor's office called me FIRST THING Tuesday morning to apologize and assure me that I was not a cog in their surgery wheel and that I would not need to wait a month for a fill.

She listened, she cared, and most importantly, she gave me her direct line to call should I have any trouble getting an appointment in the future. It is now on speed dial and Leona is pleased that her serfs have gotten back in line.

Truthfully, I'm blowing a little hot air here. My email was as professional and straight forward as any I've ever sent --- after all you get more flies with sugar than with poop or whatever – but I TOOK CHARGE OF MY OWN HEALTHCARE.

This is new for me. And strange. I'm navigating uncharted waters. I've always put my personal health as a low priority – if on the priority list at all. I have size 18 jeans, an extra large muffin top and a lap-band to prove it.

Despite my socially unacceptable 'size', I've always been confident. Even at my heaviest weight (now), I've exuded confidence. People tell me so!

In fact, I've even been known to be called 'intimidating' and when I dig deeper with those that call me such, I find the words 'really confident' come out as explanation time and again. I even once had a boss tell me during a review that I was 'too confident'. Funny, I'd never considered that to be a bad thing. But a know-it-all 22 year old in her first job,needs to temper her confidence so as to not unsettle the shaky, middle-aged, middle-managed ground on which she walks.

For whatever reason though, when it comes to my body, I've always found it hard to stick up for myself. Perhaps because, when it counts, I'm naked in a robe two sizes too small with my butt flapping in the wind and yet having to smile and make small talk with a FULLY DRESSED person who is carrying a clipboard. What is it about clipboards and the way they signal “authority figure who is smarter than me”?

George W. Bush should have donned a white coat and clipboard more often. I probably would have believed him about the whole “Weapons of Mass Destruction” thing. Maybe I would have even believed that “strategery” was a real word. Who KNOWS where our former president would be today if he had JUST carried a clipboard!?

In any case, until recently the Sherry in a doctor's office was never the same Sherry that was anywhere else. Confidence gave way to confusion. Outspokenness bowed down to mumbling. Sometimes I even just nodded in agreement when I definitely disagreed! THAT IS NOT THE SHERRY WE KNOW AND ADORE!

So, Monday's email to my doctor's office and subsequent phone call with said office is a step in the right direction for me and my health care.

Obviously my Band is helping me to become the person (physically) that I WANT to be. But what surprises me the most is how much its helping me remember who I really am.