A Sucker is Born
Posted by Sherry , Thursday, April 29, 2010 Thursday, April 29, 2010
Disclaimer: This post is not intended to offend or stereotype any person or persons. In fact, if anything it is showing how much more evolved and brilliant referenced persons are, compared to me.
I've recently noticed that at the forefront of my little blogosphere is the subject of body hair. Its merits, issues, disappearance and taming are frequent subjects for which Lap-Band bloggers often wax poetic. However, I rarely contribute to this subject for the following reasons:
- Although I keep my body hair appearance to the minimum, I do not hate, love, nor fear its presence and thus, I remain relatively indifferent about its existence.
- Clearly there are some of you who are 'experts' in this fine area and I surely have much more knowledge to soak up FROM you than to impart TO you.
- Having a toddler and a relatively full and active life, it REALLY is difficult for me to find the time to get into a salon and ask them to PLEASE inflict pain upon my most tender and sensitive areas.
- Its hair. Its there. So what?
All that said, Momma has a mustache. And although it is not offensive to my husband or friends, and passersby do not necessarily assume I've been working in the coal mines, I fear that if I do not get in for my bi-monthly waxing, I will begin to resemble my father circa 1984. See Olan Mills photo below:
So yesterday God smiled upon me and the babysitter arrived early and I was granted with an ENTIRE 30 minutes to myself before I had to be at a doctor's appointment. THIRTY WHOLE MINUTES people!
I was starting to see an Armenian shadow above my lip and knew there was a walk-in right next door to the doctor's office. Its was serendipity.
Now, maybe some of you go to those fancy, schmancy salons with Zen rock garden waterfalls and muzak streaming from the airways. You have appointments scheduled with “aestheticians” named “Andrea” (pronounced AHUN-DRAY-UH) who are beauty-makers by day and pilates instructors by night.
But as I've mentioned, my time is precious and I've found that whether the lip wax is done for $7 by a Vietnamese salon owner or by a “skin cosmetologist” for $22, it all comes out the same. The hair is gone from my upper lip and I look like a 2nd grader who just finished a glass of cherry Kool-Aid.
So, yesterday, I walk in to “Lee's Nails” and am greeted sweetly by a gorgeous young Vietnamese woman who offers me a diet coke. Love that! Your fancy salons only offer crappy herbal tea. She asks what I need done today. I tell her “Just a lip wax!”
As I sign-in, gorgeous woman comes over to the table and says “Eye-bow wah too?”. Now, I don't have much time and frankly, just had the eyes done 2 weeks ago so I say “No thanks.” And then, well, she narrowed her perfectly groomed eyebrows at me and I knew what was coming.
See, EVERY time I go into one of my neighborhood salons to get 'just a lip wax' or 'just a pedicure' or 'just a happy-ending' I am told I need an “eye-bow wah”. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Sometimes, I've just had the brows done three days ago. Sometimes 4 weeks. A few times I've gone a whole season without domesticating the eye caterpillars. So you see, I never really know. Are my eyebrows offending them? Are they so untamed I need Sigfried and Roy to come in and work their Vegas magic? Or are they just trying to get more money out of me? I just don't know!
But this time, I KNEW my eyebrows were FINE. I had them coifed less than 2 weeks ago at another salon and I was determined to get out of this place with JUST my lip wax.
I'm taken into the 'waxing room' by another beautiful woman who coaxes me onto the table, looks me up and down and says “Eye-bow wah today?”
Me: No thanks. Just had them done.
Lady Holding Hot Wax: Oh. But eye-bow only take few more min.
Me: No, just the lip today. I really don't have the time.
Lady Dipping Stick Into Hot Wax: You NEE eye-bow wah!
Me: I'll come in tomorrow (lie) when I have more time and get the eyebrows done.
Lady Twirling Strings Of Hot Wax Around Stick About to Come At My Face: Ok. You come in. Tomorrow. Eye-bow too thick.
Me: Ok, sounds good. See you tomorrow then!
Cut to me, 10 minutes later, walking out of the salon looking like a 2nd grader who both drank the cherry Kool-Aid and put it in her eyebrow region. How do they do it?!
But this entire transaction got me to thinking about my weight loss...
No. Actually it didn't. I just wanted to tell this story and ask if anyone else has this happen to them.
Am I the only one who gets pushed into an eyebrow wax every time she enters a salon?! I really think these ladies are in the wrong business. They should be selling cars. Or life insurance. “Ok, go ahead and get the cheap, 10 cents a month plan, but you may die tomorrow and your family may have to pull apart the two-ply toilet paper to make it last longer and your husband will have to hock your wedding ring to pay the mortgage.”
“Also...you REALLY need an eyebrow wax.”
Lap-Band News – Ate nothing but crap yesterday (which went down so smoothly!) but not in very large quantities. I would like to say its due to restriction but I honestly think I am subsisting on willpower right now.
So I need advice, if I only lose a pound this week and stay at losing about a pound a week but am definitely eating more than a cup of food three times per day, should I get a fill? Should I wait until my willpower runs out to get a fill? I feel kind of like I'm dieting. The only thing keeping me from eating more is me.
Keep in mind I'm only 6 weeks post-op. I'm afraid the P.A. Is going to look at my weight loss and say I don't need a fill since he stressed the ZERO in his '0 – 2 pound a week' expectation, but again, I think it is willpower helping me lose the weight, not the band.
I'm eating quite a bit more than I should be able to at this point and can't help but wonder if I had a cc or two in my band if I'd be losing more rapidly. What would you do?
I am with you on the fill debate! I have lost a total of 6 since my last one and I go for one on Wednesday! I am definitely more hunger and its me stopping myself! I would think just a little tweak!